So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
