New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
