I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just want to make out with him forever
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
