I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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