Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
