we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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