i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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