I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
