How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
