and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
