Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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