Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
