If that was your dad, he is hot
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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