did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
