I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
