Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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