chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
