Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
