I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
