I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
there is puke in my bra ... again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
