Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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