its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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