And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
