Where are you?
In a non slutty way
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
