quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
