All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
