Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
