i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize