So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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