She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
