We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she told me i tasted like america
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
