I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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