man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
