somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
