so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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