i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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