Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
