he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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