If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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