OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize