Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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