We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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