i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize