i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
