You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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