A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
is it fun? or sober?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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