look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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