There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
