I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
