We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
