I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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