yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
