So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
