Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
