i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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