yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
