Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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