Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
