We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Found the puke drawer
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
