I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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